Me: Sets temperature to 85 °C and turns on Anova.
A few minutes later:
Anova: “BEEP! Your water is at 85 °C!”
Me: “Thank you. Time to put the jars into the pot.”
A few minutes later:
Anova: “BEEP! The water is back at 85 °C now.”
Me: “Thank you, that’s good to know.”
45 seconds later:
Anova: “BEEP! The water was at 85 °C and then briefly dropped down to 84.5 °C. But I brought it back up to 85 °C for you again.”
Me: “Thank you, that was very diligent of you.”
25 seconds later:
Anova, with a proud intonation: “BEEP! Water temperature adjusted back to nominal after brief 0.5 °C drop!”
Me, patting the Anova on the head: “Good work Anova, atta boy!”
50 seconds later.
Anova: “BEEP! It’s happened again! But don’t you worry, I’ve taken care of it for you.”
Me: “Yeah, right, thanks.”
20 seconds later:
Anova: “BEEP! I’m still looking after your water temperature for you.”
Me: “Right, that’s your job. It’s why I bought you. Keep doing it please. No need to keep telling me about it. I trust you!”
17 seconds later:
Anova, wagging its tail: “BEEP! Still doing my job, in case you were wondering…”
Me: “Ok, listen, you really can just do all this without telling me each time. Please don’t.”
Five minutes of blissful silence.
Anova: “BEEP! It’s been a long time since we had a chat. Are you sure you are not getting lonely? By the way, I’m still keeping your water warm for you…”
Me: “I didn’t buy you to keep me company. Now shut up, please!”
33 seconds later:
Anova: “BEEP! Despite being offended, I’m still doing my duty, like you asked.”
Me: “Right. One more beep from you, and you are going to the planet of the mis-designed appliances (right next to the planet of the ballpoint life forms), and I’ll cook my eggs on the stove from now on.”
12 seconds later:
Anova: “BEEP!” … “BEEP!” … “BEEP?”
No answer because hypertension caused by the exchange made me pass out due to a ruptured brain aneurysm…